Updates/Musings Galore! ☞
I’ve realized that for a blog with “musings” in the title, I don’t really write much of my thoughts here. I’m going to work on that this year. So here are some updates in my life, and other little musings. Beware, this will be a long post. If you don’t like those, check out my other posts which are ridden with lovely photos! With that said, how would “Monday Musings” sound – would you read them? Or would you like different blog posts? Let me know?
Firstly, some not so nice person bought my .com domain, so for now, brunettemusings will be brunettemusings.net! Surprised? I am too! Honestly, it feels weird having a new domain – but it’s a new beginning! For which I’m happy about! I should have posted about it sooner, but never got around to it. Here I am though!
A while ago on Instagram I posted a FAQ’s photo where I asked friends to comment with questions that I’d answer in an upcoming zine of mine. The question below inspired me to reply here as it’s rather a lengthy story. If you have a question, feel free to comment below!
I could think of a bunch, but I’ll stick to one. I’m a long time follower of your blog and found you on IG some months ago and have read a bit about your struggles. I struggle with depression a lot myself, so I was wondering… what is the moment that made you finally decide to get yourself up and start on the path to getting help (getting better, however you’d like to phrase it…) Was it a specific event, a thought, a person?
As you may already know – I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder a few years ago – it’s been a long journey, but I’ve finally learned how to embrace it, and not let it define me. For a while, I believed that it changed me, that I was just a person with a disorder. When I had a bad day, I forgot how to deal with it – I just blamed it on the depression. I figured that it wasn’t just a bad day, but a bad life. Well, I’ve learned that even people with mental health issues and without have bad days – but it’s up to them to make it a good day. And, if that doesn’t work – there’s always tomorrow! I’ve been working on myself through therapy, and I feel that I’m finally at a point in my life, that I’m on the right path. Trust me, I wasn’t for 2 1/2 months – I was a prisoner in my own room. I let my depression get the better of me. It’s crazy how fast stress affects you. I had just started a new job, and was excited to see where it would take me. However, waking up at 5:00 am and getting home at 6:00 pm wasn’t the best thing for me. I did my best, but after a couple weeks I was laid off. I have issues with failure so I immediately thought I did something wrong, when I didn’t. This triggered me into a depression which was my worst yet. I basically stayed in my room, and didn’t take care of myself; I wasn’t showering, was over sleeping, didn’t leave the house, stayed in bed, etc. I had given up on myself. It’s a wonder I didn’t end up in the hospital again. I was actually scared of it this time, where if I was manic I would be welcoming it with open arms. I think I was mainly scared of my mom coming to visit me. She tends to ignore me until things happen, and then shows up out of the blue – but that’s another story! How did I get out of my depression this time? Well I was basically given an ultimatum… either I start listening to my psychiatrist and what he told me to do, or I go to the hospital. It worked!! I called up our local Family Health Services that day to get matched up with a therapist and that’s that. I wasn’t better right away. It was really tough. I felt like I would never get better at the time. But, I realized that I would lose a very special friendship if I didn’t get help – and honestly, I think that’s what pushed me. Eventually I had my first counselling appointment. I really did not want to be there. The form they had me fill out was triggering in itself, and just made me feel worse. It was my third or fourth therapist so I wasn’t really hopeful. But thankfully it’s been going amazingly – I’ve come a long way and am only going every month now. I love my therapist, not to be cliche or anything, but she’s really helped me through so much! After hearing that I did the “100 Happy Days” challenge on Instagram she challenged me to “7 Happy Days”. I was super excited about it, because I knew exactly how I’d document my days – in my mini smashbook! I posted about this on my IG, so some of you may recognize the photos below. I’ve also made a self care planner that I bring to my appointments. If you’d like to see inside, let me know in the comments?
I don’t care what people think of me, so that’s why I’m so open about my mental health. It doesn’t change who I am, and if you believe it does – then honestly, I don’t need you in my life. I’ve also helped so many people through it and am so happy that my struggles have been useful. Just to toot my own horn, random people come to me all the time, and tell me their life stories. I’ve helped an online friend escape from an abusive relationship. If you’re wary about emailing me, please don’t be. I don’t bite, and we might end up having things in common, and end up being kindred spirits. Trust me, I was scared of a new friend until I found out we’re basically the same person – down to the same struggles and all that. There’s TONS of people out there with the same mental health issues as you – it’s up to you to open up and find them. For the time being, share your story online – that is a great first step and helps tremendously. It shows you that you’re not alone.
Hmm, what else? Essential oils have quickly become another passion of mine. So much so, I’ve started my own business!! I’m now an Independent Distributor of Young Living Essential Oils. I’ll be posting more in depth about it soon! But, basically – consider me your oil lady now! If you have an ailment, tell me and I’ll let you know which oil(s) can help! If you’re interested in essential oils and don’t know where to start, let me know and we can get in touch! I have a facebook page where I post information about the oils and other goodies – you’re welcome to join!
I’m going to be moving out on my own, hopefully in the summer! Right now, I’m in the planning stages so nothing’s really set in stone yet. 2015 is going to be a big year for me, I can feel it! Want to follow along and stay updated on my journey? Check out the hashtag #nataliesmovingout on Instagram! I just created it the other day, but soon it’ll be full of photos! Trust me!
I crossed “Be in a wedding party” off my list on September 20th 2014! It was lovely!
Oh, and since my last planner post – I’ve expanded my collection to four planners! I’m loving them! I have two Filofax’s (a Domino & a Cover Story) , a Kikki K, and a Kate Spade! They’re my babies! I’ll also be posting about them soon. So stay tuned! ;)
I almost forgot! I’m participating in a Self Care Challenge on Instagram, a lovely lady named Sara Davenport of The Oasis Project created it. She is ah-mazing, and so is her challenge!! I’d highly recommend taking part in it as well!
That’s it for now! I hope everyone has been doing well – stay creative, embrace yourself and keep smiling! xxo